The Figure Part 1

He ran across the hotel's lobby floor shouting at me. I was in no mood for whatever gamble this kid had concocted in my short absence. I had just arrived in town from a cross country flight, California to Maine. Maine?
Why the fuck, Maine?!
Fucking politics.
The dismal varicose veins of roadways spattered across America's soil had me in no mood for anything Duke was about to bring up to me.
"Sir!" He ran up to me, his voice high and loud. Very loud. Far too much cheer in that tone he had going too. The kind of tone that was enough to choke a man on his own whiskey. His hubris all stemmed from a low-rent county fair, it was just opposite the city from our hotel.
Shit.
In my childhood, this news would have excited me. My teenage hormones would have hit me with a hard on so stiff that I'd have found a half decent chick to bone all week long. Now, however, in the paramount of my writing career, and my mid-thirties, my brain turned strictly to cocaine, maybe even heroin, and the crazed story that would come from buying the drugs. Every one of the people I would buy from were the twisted personalities that erected the cavalcade of steel rails and rigged games that attracted all the local mouth breathers to what was pathetically dubbed the 'county fair'.
"You can go for your cotton candy and force fried foods deep into your gullet. I'm going for the story." I revealed a cigarette from my coat and promptly lit it as he reminded me of my publisher's commands to keep this young lawyer behind me at all times. Good damned logistics. I dragged my cigarette and swilled my lukewarm beer, "very well then, don't piss your pants, boy, because its time for you to grow the fuck up and I ain't about to hold your hand."
We hopped into the convertible Duke had conned out of the rental shack near the airport. He wasn't bad for a rookie lawyer but I could tell he and I were about to pop every damned cherry in one night. I sped off from the hotel parking lot and hopped a curb as I pulled two bones out of my hat. I smacked my lips down on one and through the wind that rushed down into the front seat, I lit it up with a crack of my Zippo. I held one out for the boy to snag, "you smoke any of this shit while you were in college?" Of course I didn't give him time to respond. I just snapped the lit on out of my mouth and tossed it into has lap, "smoke it or get your suit burned, you make the choice."
Who the fuck really knows why the publishers assigned this boy to me. Probably some kind of demented hazing they had been planning for their next new lawyer. They took a good man from my life, someone I'd considered a sidekick. A real lawyer, a true man. They fired him after he messed up an incident with a sweet and sexy publicist I'd chose to include in a story I had written up for small time publication while I lived in the Florida Keys. Apparently she wasn't too pleased that I had not refrained from changing her name, for artistic purposes, really.
The fair was exactly what I had expected it to be; the fattest men and women, children with high blood pressure and diabetes, and people so lazy they were abandoned all day in front of the same forsaken funnel-cake stand. The putrid smell of the fair gagged me as deep inside, that teenager wanted to come rushing out and find myself some strange lady to desperately try to impress as I regale them with made-up stories of war from my time spent in the military. I was a foolish little piece of shit. I looked behind me, Duke was following me like a drunk chicken, and swayed side to side each time we would have to stop in the crowd. I had all ready smoked the brains from his head and whiskey from the driver over really soaked into his blood stream.
My hound dog nose went right to work. Would it be PCP, cocaine? China white? The thought of what I could find was an easy distracting from the depraved sea of people that we swam. We quickly found ourselves in the seed backside of the county fair. We were in the dark alleys created by the campers and RVs that you dared not even look down as a child. That was where I found my people. The liquor slugging, rail snorting, pot smoking brethren that would get me my fix for the proper writing tools.
Duke's face was priceless as we approached a group of drunkards. His chin actually touched his chest and his skin as pale as an egg shell. Their radio blasted as they sat out in the chairs, a typical scene for me from my group of friends but Duke's lavish law school lifestyle had not prepared him from what we walked up on. I could smell the sweetened skunk odor layed thick in the air and I knew immediately that these would be the right people.
"God damn is it good to see some fine gentleman in this squalor they call a fair," I spat my cigarette on the ground and quickly lit another then pulled the whiskey out from my coat, "anyone care for pull?" They all took me up on my offer and I wasted no time as my bottle was spun around, "any you men want to make a little money and help another man out?" Their eyes stared right through me, "Jesus, have you all gone catatonic all ready? What hell did you take? I want some for myself and my colleague here."
They looked Duke over, he was definitely my weak link. I new the young blood could be my undoing on this adventure but he did have to be hot on my heels. Their eyes came back on me and obviously alpha male rose from his tattered lawn chair and approached me with his shoulders cocked back and a sideways stride. I assumed he hid a gun on his hip I couldn't see.
"Why'd we sell to a bloke like you? Bet you're a cop," his draw was definitely from the British Isles.
"Good god, are you Irish?"
"Accent don't mean a thing," now it was as redneck as the deepest Cajun.
"God damn, I know I"m not on enough drugs yet to be going this crazy. Pick a region and stick to it!" That was a a mistake. He picked slur of sounds that billowed out from his throat, I could only assume it to be Russian. "Come on! This is America and we speak English."
"Good on, ya."
"I'll be happy with Australian, so long as you speak fucking English!"
"Easy there, mate. You don't have to go mad on us," brave son of a bitch had the gumption to snag the cigarette right from my lips and take a drag. "How do we know you ain't know cop, undercover and here to bust the gyps that rolled in with the carnival?" He then pushed the cigarette back into my lips, he had soaked in enough slobber to disgusts a saint Bernard.
"Duke here is my lawyer."
"That's really going to help your situation, isn't it."
"Depends on if you would be offended on speaking with my very inebriated publication lawyer. You could really think of him as your human resources guy." I handed my flooded cigarette back to him and pulled out another, "in fact, seeing as he really is here more for you than me, it could really behoove you to have a nice long conversation with him while I finish my whiskey and get to know your company."